Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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