why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
