if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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