Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
