All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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