The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
