ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
