Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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