I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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