All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
