I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
third nipple confirmed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
