took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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