dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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