Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
