Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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