I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
