dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
