About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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