So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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