I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
