So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
