chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
