you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
