when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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