Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
