I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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