he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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