I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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