You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
