Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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