4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
