So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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