Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Houston, we have a squirter
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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