So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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