i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
