I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
