I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
