I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
