I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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