glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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