i permit you to call me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
