We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
