I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
