So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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