I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
