Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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