Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize