just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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