I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
