Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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