it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
