saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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