Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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