Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Come on in and take your pants off
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
