Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
