i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
