i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When are your genitals available?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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