FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
