East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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