I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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