woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
