I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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