I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
