well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
