I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize